Let me share a story…
I spent the whole weekend in my friend’s house. He was mostly with his dad, there’s no “mom” at home. His dad and mom split many years ago. They live in a house fit for a family with ten children. I usually spend some of my time in his place during the weekends, when I’m available (no dates, etc.), using his game room.
This stay was a bit different.
My friend got sick due to a lot of stress this past week. Had fever, which he’d rather have all day, than having real painful feet. He had arthritis at a young age, primarily due to his diet (heavy meat and entrails intake). His father was out most of the time, and he was for a while bedridden. I went to his place and as usual good friends we had a good laugh out of his situation, when we always talked about the things we love to do and make fun with.
Things started to become light and a bit serious when I told him “dapat may babae na dito eh (there really has to be a woman in this house).” (He never grew up with a mother figure. I actually echoed what her aunt and uncle told me a while ago). He responded by saying “oo nga eh, sa ganitong panahon, kailangan ng ‘haplos ng pagmamahal’ (yeah, in times like these, a ‘nurturing touch’ is needed).” Now I knew this guy for a long time, and he really has a bad and funny mouth. I was waiting for his “bad mouth” punch lines. There was no punch line. He was serious on his statement. He added, “mahirap pag kami lang ni papa, pag puro lalake ang andito, alam mo yun, iaabot lang yung gamot na parang ‘o yan inumin mo’ (it’s hard when only me and dad is here, we are all men, he just gives me the medicine and says ‘here, take this’). It struck a chord in me. Here he was, all six feet, at least two-fifty pounds of jolly him telling me this, when I can remember all the times when he acted like he really was fine without a mother.
We talked again the next morning. I was glad we were able to eat breakfast together (he can now walk and tolerate some pain in his foot due to his medications). Again we talked about the need for a new housemate.
Now what am I driving at with this story?
My brothers, just when we think we can live independently, life tells us that we should be with someone who can complement us, someone who may be our opposite, but whom we share common things, and someone who has that “loving and nurturing” presence that men do not have.
We need women in our lives.
And not just women, we need quality women. Women who will care for us. Women who will feed us with love and trust, and have our complete trust in return. And, like this story I told, women who will take good care of our children.
My friend’s dad thought maybe they could live alone, that he could give the “motherly presence” his son will need. Obviously, as you hear a lot of times, “nothing beats the real thing”.
My brothers, let’s learn how to search for the women we really want. And once we find her, let us have the necessary skills to keep her, and for her to think of us as a keeper, so she will never find another man.